Is Jillian Michaels Left-Handed?

When Jillian isn’t berating overweight Americans on national television to get into shape by pushing old industrial wheelbarrows full of engine parts, she is berating her middle-class suburban neighborhood to stay away from Gluten. A trained reality personality and in reality, a personal trainer, Jillian inspires the world’s obese to get up and make something of their lives, which for once doesn’t mean a plate of nachos.

Jillian started her professional training career when she used to eat only bananas and found out that gorillas can out-bench-press her by 18lbs. She trained and challenged Coco the Gorilla to a lifting competition which gained regional publicity and helped promote her fitness regimes. Jillian out-lifted Coco by 6lbs and in frustration, Coco threw the weight plates at the audience injuring 3 elderly people who wandered in from the nearby nursing home.

Overweight as a child, Jillian blamed her addiction to Blue Bell vanilla ice cream sandwiches as the root of her obesity. Since then she has been on a personal vendetta against the company, campaigning against there products. There have been unconfirmed reports of vandalism and in some specific cases, reports of extreme action against Blue Bell that are attributed to Jillian, who denies the claims. Blue Bell has commented that their Los Angeles facility reported a massive explosions of milkfat in 2009 that was linked to a faulty valved, which officials say could easily be tampered with. When questioned Jillian responded:

“Do I look like the kind of person who gives a ****? I have no idea who was behind the attacks on Blue Bell. But if I was to plan something against the horrible company, I imagine I would do something similar. I can always use a good chest fly in my life, and that company deserves everything they had coming.”

No, Jillian Michaels is not Left-Handed.

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