| Actresses

Q: Is Minka Kelly left handed?

Yes, Minka Kelly is left handed.

Dear Minka,

Please marry me.




Although Minka Kelly is left handed, she is most likely ambidextrous. We don’t go off on how people are perfect all the time, but she is perfect all the time. The Minka we know emerged from a lake in Northern Saskatchewan in the summer of 1989 and caused a massive heat wave felt around the world. She wandered into small town naked and dripping wet. The townspeople rushed with blankets to help her, being Canadian and well to do, but all went immediately blind because of her hotness and also simultaneously became millionaires. One small boy managed to give her some clothing and before she disappeared back into the woods, she granted him a wish. He wished to be Wolverine, and woke up in Australian as Hugh Jackman.

The saying that no matter how beautiful a woman is someone is tired of putting up with their shit, simply does not apply to Minka. She created the Doritos Loco Taco in her living room while experimenting making gold and remains both the main proponent and opponent to Quantitative Easing. The Government shutdown happened because the Republicans found some naked pictures of her and refuse to leave their houses. The Hostess Twinkie was brought back because Minka likes how “Twinkie” sounds. And despite all her perfections, whenever she opens her mouth on screen we wish that delicious golden cream-filled cake would somehow fly from its package and clog her voice from disturbing our ears.


Hot Proofs:

Minka Kelly signing autographs


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