| Actresses

Q: Is Zooey Deschanel left handed?

No, Zooey Deschanel is not left handed.

Everyone’s favorite quirky girl next door, Zooey Deschanel can sing, play multiple instruments, act, and look beautiful without trying.  Her only negative qualities are that she does all this with her right hand and that she is French.

Deschanel was destined for greatness ever since she was conceived during the summer solstice, while the moon was eclipsed by the sun, and Venus and Mars collided in orbit.  At this exact moment, Jesus shed a tear that impregnated Zooey’s mother, who was able to achieve the Buddhist state of Nirvana simultaneously.  The last name Deschanel actually means “From Jesus’ eyes to you,” so it’s quite obvious that Zooey Dechanel is a goddess and can do no wrong.   If only she hadn’t married that hobbit looking guy from The Postal Service she’d be perfect.



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