Kobe Bryant

Posted by & filed under Athletes.

kobe-bryant-not-left-handed

No, Kobe Bryant is not left handed. You shout his name every time you miss throwing that dirty, snot-filled tissue into the garbage 5 feet away from you. His smile is almost as big as Julia Roberts, and his middle name is Bean. Growing up in Italy was hard for young Pinto. In the third… Read more »

Afroman

Posted by & filed under Musicians.

afroman-being-afroman

No, Afroman is not left handed. Afroman is definitely right-handed. I mean did you see the punch he threw at that poor white girl? Maybe that will be the motivation she needs to get her life together. Seriously, you snuck on the stage of a washed-up 40yr old’s concert, what did you expect to happen?… Read more »

Blake Lively

Posted by & filed under Actresses.

blake-lively-red-carpet

No, Blake Lively is not left handed. The first time I dreamed of Blake Lively I was driving the two of us in my Bentley convertible down the Las Vegas strip, pulling up to a hotel. She got out and yelled at me for only dreaming of her and not buying her things in real… Read more »

Scarlett Johansson

Posted by & filed under Actresses.

scarlett-johansson-runway-2014

Yes, Scarlett Johansson is left handed. Update: Thanks to our valiant user Amanda C. for correcting this egregious error on our part. Her indeed. A whole movie was dedicated to the voice of Scarlett Johansson, and even with Joaquin Phoenix’s porn stache interrupting my vocal love affair I really enjoyed the movie despite not seeing… Read more »

Cameron Diaz

Posted by & filed under Actresses.

Cameron-Diaz-smiling-all-sexy

No, Cameron Diaz is not left handed. I remember the first time I got a boner in a movie theater. My family and I were watching the Mask in Oswego NY, when matinees were $4.25 and X-Men was the staple arcade game. I was staring at Cameron Diaz wearing that hot red dress, thinking about… Read more »

Rihanna

Posted by & filed under Musicians.

rihanna-2014-mtv-movie-awards

No, Rihanna is not left handed. Aaaaaaaaaaand we’re back. Been spending too much time down by the river. Taking one for the team. Shelling out sea shells by the sea shore. Hanging back and crackin’ a cold one. Hunting Nazi war criminals in Argentina. Let’s get down to b’ness. DAMN GIRL, you rocking that CFDA… Read more »

Minka Kelly

Posted by & filed under Actresses.

minka-kelly-striped-shirt-2

Yes, Minka Kelly is left handed. Dear Minka, Please marry me. Love, Everyone.   Although Minka Kelly is left handed, she is most likely ambidextrous. We don’t go off on how people are perfect all the time, but she is perfect all the time. The Minka we know emerged from a lake in Northern Saskatchewan in… Read more »