Taylor Swift was delivered to Earth by an agreement with Mars, Inc and the Lords of Rainbow Delicious land, wherein the corporation agreed to share all their magical flavors of Skittles and Starbursts with the interstellar dwellers. Both sides thought they got the sweet end of the deal.

Kind, warm-hearted and juicy, Starburst have been a favorite type of candy for young people for generations. If we had to choose a color for Swift, we’d probably pick pink because she’s bubbly and everyone loves pink the most. Kristen Stewart would be red, because she has no soul.

When Swift was 6 she decided to escape the Taffy Palace her captors created and pursue her interest in basket weaving in rural Pennsylvania. It was through dedication to this humble and necessary craft that she made a living, but more importantly learned she could sing and talk to animals. After nearly being eaten by a group of confused prairie dogs high on elderflower, Swift fled and discovered she could make money with her voice. Winding up in Nashville, Swift signed a record deal and quickly blossomed into the star of the pop-country demo. The Lords of Rainbow Delicious Land really missed out on an opportunity there.

No, Taylor Swift is not Left-Handed.