| Politicians

Q: Is Anthony Weiner left handed?

No, Anthony Weiner is not left handed.

Although from the way his dick gravitates you would think he was left handed. The former congressman who was exposed for sexual deviancy by tweeting photos of his junk to an obviously classy lady on Twitter, is running for NYC mayor. And I have to say I will be voting for him. Despite his ludicrous and adulterous ways, he was a damn good congressman. He is simply taking after the best President we’ve had in decades who refused to acknowledge he was blown by an intern. Yes, that is Bill Clinton. Yes, he was left handed. Yes, we love him now and forever.

Weiner’s problems seem to be one and the same; his big dick and his big dick of a name. His great-grandfather, Albert George Weiner, was rumored to have the largest dick on human record, with accounts reporting it to be two and a half feet long. Even he couldn’t escape the infamous Weiner curse, telegraming stencils of his penis to women in neighboring towns.

So once again we are forced to vote not only for a candidate we value politically, but one we side with outside of office. We couldn’t care less if he instagramed pictures of his penis to Nelson Mandela while banging an-ex Mongolian prostitute in a Wendy’s. We need someone who isn’t bought by a corporate interests, and at this point Weiner seems so untouchable that he’s poised to erect a comeback.






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