| Politicians |

Q: Is Bill Clinton left handed?

Yes, Bill Clinton is left handed.

Bill Clinton is the man. I’m sorry Keanu, Clinton is in the house. Do you see his spectacular speech at the Democratic National Convention? Watching it over and over leaves me feeling invigorated and slightly turned on, more than I can say for any of the stale RNC speeches. Those leave me feeling unsatisfied and depressed, kind of like what my first girlfriend must have felt after sex.

Plus I love that what he said was factual, statistically accurate. He’s a Rhodes Scholar, a former President of the United States of America and a bad-ass saxophone player. He still is one of the best, if not the top, speakers in the country. I’d love to see a debate between him and Stephen Colbert.

Born William Jefferson Chrysler Blythe III, his mother named him after his grandfather and for her love of cars. He was well liked growing up, and had a ferocious ability to play the saxophone. He broke his wrist at a school concert after jumping off the stage into a group of pretty girls when he was 16. He decided politics would make a less physical, but no less impactful, career on both himself and the women around him, and decided to pursue it.

He went to Georgetown, and after graduation attended Oxford on a Rhodes scholarship. After sampling a taste of all England had to offer, he decided he wanted to return to America. Transferring to Yale Law School, he subsequently met an older, beautiful bright woman named Hillery. The two fell in love but suffered a terrible accident when they moved into a house together which turned out to be haunted and the woman went insane. The next year Bill was in the library and saw a woman that looked just like his past love, with almost the exact same name, Hillary, and he fell in love all over again.

What more can you say. He knows what he is talking about, he’s been through the Presidential rat race himself, all the while raising the American Economy and reducing the debt entirely. I’d elect him again and again if I had a choice.

Proofs:

bill-clinton-signing-my-life

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