Is Paul Ryan Left-Handed?

Paul Ryan is not left handed, nor is he apparently even human. According to a source in his camp, Paul Ryan walks around his office claiming he is a 14th century vampire from France. Not surprisingly, Ryan is behind the times with this whole vampire trend, which perfectly explains his antiquated political views, biased moronic rhetoric, and lust for young blood. The only thing that isn’t living in the middle ages is his P90x routine, which he says a friar taught him in the 1600’s.

No, Paul Ryan is not Left-Handed.

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