Is Zac Efron Left-Handed?

When cloning was big in the early 90’s, Tom Cruise used to throw elaborate parties for other celebrities where they would get absolutely wasted and clone themselves with other famous people. Tom, who usually avoided combining himself with others, was convinced by Leo DiCaprio and Tiffani Amber Thiessen to try the first ever triple-clone. The result was Clone 31. This particular clone managed to escape before it could be taken to the disposal chamber, pretending to be one of Prince’s boy toys. We know this escaped clone as Zac Efron today.

Part of the cloning process left his brain incapable of discerning between good and bad movie roles, leaving us with the wonderful High School Musical franchise. Another effect of the cloning left Zac’s head completely bald, so his hair is a healthy blend of pony fur, silk and rubber bands. He has recently been in rehab for what a normal person would call “a serious addiction to cocaine”. Our sources have confirmed that his visits are actually because his molecular structure is falling apart and he is in desperate need of repair. The visit to Peru is his latest attempt to find alternative shamanistic answers to avoid becoming a forgotten pile of dust. We wish you luck Clone 31 Zac Efron. Maybe this is the wake up call to become what has otherwise became a disgrace to your talented creators. Or at least two of them.

No, Zac Efron is not Left-Handed.

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