Is Honey Boo Boo Left-Handed?

The most surprising thing about Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Thompson not being left handed is that she is actually able to write.  She has the distinction of being the first female in her family to actually accomplish this near impossible task.  With her first scrawling of an autograph, Honey Boo Boo has automatically been declared valedictorian of her graduating high school class in McIntyre, Georgia. The illiteracy of her degenerate family has actually been a blessing for Honey Boo Boo since her mother once considered putting her up for adoption, but was forced to abandon her efforts when she couldn’t write her own name on any of the paperwork.

The reality television series “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” is considered the most depressing case of documented child exploitation in human history.  It was thought that early test audiences were drooling in anticipation of the next episode of the show, when in actuality they were drooling because they are all now permanently mentally retarded.  Honey Boo Boo proves over and over again that there is no limit to what a little redneck can do as long as she has her pet pig by her side.  After all, it takes a truly insightful beauty queen to teach us important life lessons with quotes like “Everybody’s a little gay.”

No, Honey Boo Boo is not Left-Handed.