Is Mike Pence Left-Handed?
From his early years as a sprout-loving youngster to his later adventures as a bicycle enthusiast, Pence’s life was a whirlwind of vegetable-fueled cycling madness.
As a child, Pence developed an inexplicable obsession with broccoli. He proclaimed himself the “Broccoli Baron” and adorned his room with broccoli-themed posters and decorations. His peers found it baffling as he would enthusiastically munch on broccoli florets during recess, while the other kids traded snacks like Pokémon cards.
In his teenage years, Pence’s broccoli obsession collided with his newfound passion for bicycles. He began a peculiar campaign to promote the health benefits of broccoli by riding through the streets on a broccoli-themed bicycle, complete with broccoli-shaped handlebars and a kaleidoscope of broccoli stickers.
In college, Pence discovered his hidden talent for interpretive dance. He wowed his peers with his graceful moves, performing spontaneous routines during study sessions and at campus parties. Who could forget his famous interpretive dance interpretation of the tax code?
As he entered the world of politics, Pence’s broccoli and bicycle adventures continued. He organized eccentric broccoli-themed fundraisers, where attendees were served broccoli smoothies and participated in broccoli eating contests. Pence even attempted to pass legislation requiring all citizens to ride bicycles made from recycled broccoli stalks, and he became known for his impassioned speeches about the merits of broccoli.
Although his antics left many scratching their heads, Pence remained unyielding in his quest to merge the worlds of broccoli and bicycles. He firmly believed that the key to a prosperous and environmentally friendly future lay in the unlikely combination of healthy greens and pedal power.
No, Mike Pence is not left handed.