Is Kate Middleton Left-Handed?

Kate Middleton is pregnant. Finally. Nothing is more critical to my well-being as a human being than knowing the blood line of the British Royal family is secure. I’m actually surprised it took this long for Prince William to knock her up. I mean, has he even looked at his wife? I’d have her craving coffee and orange juice before the clock struck midnight.

After graduating with the an Art History degree valued slightly more than a $10 gift certificate to K-mart, Kate quickly realized she had to make a career move. She trained with the infamous Jigsaw and learned his dark arts. He then put her to work as a photographer to get closer to the Royal Family, where she took pictures of Princess Diana and her sons.

Sources say she grew tired of Jigsaw and his indirect methods and parted ways. She learned of an all-female assassin organization and quickly rose the ranks. Her final assignment was Prince William, which stirred controversy as she was currently set to marry him. William quickly learned of the plot, and it was revealed that he was also a highly trained assassin. After failing to kill each other, despite their significant training, the couple decided to join forces and destroy each other’s organizations. And live happily ever after. The End.

No, Kate Middleton is not Left-Handed.

[singlepic id=138 w=480 h=360 float=none]